I hope this letter finds you in good shape. It is long since we last had a heart to heart talk, and I really miss your voice. Not your normal voice, but that special one that comes from within. The one that no other mum can emulate. The one that only you and I understand.
I have a lot to share with you. I feel too shy to face you with these, so please take time and read between the lines. It may make you hate me, but please remember I really love you. Remember you are the greatest mum in the world. I have made mistakes in life that I live regretting. If only I could change the hands of time, I would become a better daughter. You deserve better.
First, I’d like to thank you for loving me. You loved even when I was still in your womb. Despite the hurdles you had to overcome for my sake, you still kept me safe. You bore pain, shame, humiliation and agony because of me. You were young, beautiful and respected, but with me, went away your pride and dignity. Still, you were always there for me. Through thick and thin, you saw me grow.
You nurtured and taught me the ways of the Lord. You made me the woman I am today. I am forever grateful for your love mum.
Please forgive me for my insensitivity. I never appreciated your efforts. I always thought that you weren’t good enough. Because you could not afford to buy me expensive toys, new clothes and good books. I forgot to see that I had a roof over me and food on the table.
Please forgive me for lying against you. I even lied that you were sick or that you lost your job to gain pity from my friends and fetch money from them. I have never forgiven myself for being so mean and insensitive.
I don’t have the right number of words to say just how sorry I am. I have shed all the tears I have till my eyes are puffy and swollen. I have sneezed and now my nose is itching. I know how shameful it is admit this, but it is the only way to set myself free.
You tried your best to bring me up in the right way, that I may not make the same mistakes you made. In my arrogance and disobedience, I messed myself and my future. I have done abominable things before men and before God. I have disgraced you among women. I have lost my dignity and stature. I feel so empty and useless. I feel there is no more hope left. I am slowly but surely wasting away.
I need your blessings. I still need you to guide me even in my adult life. I now see how tough it is in the outside world. I thought you were just being lazy and having debts. I now know what it means to really be a grown up. I may not fully know all you’ve gone through this far, but whatever it is, I know it must have been painful. And I know you endured all this because of me.
I can not erase the past, but we can influence the future together. Lets just put God first, then all the rest will follow. Please be strong. Have another reason to live. Please forgive me. I am determined to make it all right before it is too late, just give me another chance. I love you so much mum.