With the last drop of my blood

So dark and dull was it that day

All I felt was pain and pain

“Not a single word should you say,

Or I’ll make you pay with pain”

 

Friends and foes to me were same

From that day that changed the game

And left a wound of guilt and blame

No pride of self but only shame

 

I winced in pain and bit my lips

And sighed with defeat as I let go

So ruthless with my tits and hips

For all he wanted was to finish and go

 

I woke up in a mess of blood

My head throbbing and my vision blurred

With my blood I noted down on a writing pad

“I will hate men with the last drop of my blood”

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Forgive me mum,

Dear mum,

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I hope this letter finds you in good shape. It is long since we last had a heart to heart talk, and I really miss your voice. Not your normal voice, but that special one that comes from within. The one that no other mum can emulate. The one that only you and I understand.

I have a lot to share with you. I feel too shy to face you with these, so please take time and read between the lines. It may make you hate me, but please remember I really love you. Remember you are the greatest mum in the world. I have made mistakes in life that I live regretting. If only I could change the hands of time, I would become a better daughter. You deserve better.

First, I’d like to thank you for loving me. You loved even when I was still in your womb. Despite the hurdles you had to overcome for my sake, you still kept me safe. You bore pain, shame, humiliation and agony because of me. You were young, beautiful and respected, but with me, went away your pride and dignity. Still, you were always there for me. Through thick and thin, you saw me grow.

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the greatest mum in the world

You nurtured and taught me the ways of the Lord. You made me the woman I am today. I am forever grateful for your love mum.

Please forgive me for my insensitivity. I never appreciated your efforts. I always thought that you weren’t good enough. Because you could not afford to buy me expensive toys, new clothes and good books. I forgot to see that I had a roof over me and food on the table.

Please forgive me for lying against you. I even lied that you were sick or that you lost your job to gain pity from my friends and fetch money from them. I have never forgiven myself for being so mean and insensitive.

I don’t have the right number of words to say just how sorry I am. I have shed all the tears I have till my eyes are puffy and swollen. I have sneezed and now my nose is itching. I know how shameful it is admit this, but it is the only way to set myself free.

You tried your best to bring me up in the right way, that I may not make the same mistakes you made. In my arrogance and disobedience, I messed myself and my future. I have done abominable things before men and before God. I have disgraced you among women. I have lost my dignity and stature. I feel so empty and useless. I feel there is no more hope left. I am slowly but surely wasting away.

I need your blessings. I still need you to guide me even in my adult life. I now see how tough it is in the outside world. I thought you were just being lazy and having debts. I now know what it means to really be a grown up. I may not fully know all you’ve gone through this far, but whatever it is, I know it must have been painful. And I know you endured all this because of me.

I can not erase the past, but we can influence the future together. Lets just put God first, then all the rest will follow. Please be strong. Have another reason to live. Please forgive me. I am determined to make it all right before it is too late, just give me another chance. I love you so much mum.

Yours faithfully

Prodigal daughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Private thoughts

What comes to your mind at the mention of the word “Privacy “?. It makes me think of all the intimate things between me, myself and I. It makes me think of my diary and my mobile phone while those with fat pockets think of their private jets and private homes. I have never had a bedroom for myself, except for some semesters in campus when I was fortunate enough not to have a roommate. So I honestly cant tell whether its lonely or not to have a private life.

I love my private moments with God, and those private meditations time and again.

The most private thing in a man is the heart, the soul, the mind….. call it what you want. Have you ever thought of how it would feel if everyone could read every other person’s mind and know their true feelings? Those that they are too shy or too afraid or too cautious or maybe too proud to speak…

Would it be scary, interesting, boring, distracting or just normal? I think it would be the most HORRIBLE thing ever!

I wouldn’t appreciate to know that my best friend is lying to me, or to know how much someone hates or likes me, or maybe to know who plans what, when, why, and how.

I really would not appreciate that, maybe because I personally treasure my privacy, or because I fear to discover how people truly feel towards me.

America’s newborn

9/11/2016

America has made her decision.

She has sent the radical donald trump to the white house.

Russia celebrates, Mexico weeps, and Kenya wails.

But nothing can be done now.

Hillary Clinton is great, but she has lost.

Whether it’s because of her policies, or because of her leadership skills, or because she is a woman, only Americans can tell.

Maybe its because Trump simply moved the crowd more than she did, which you know isn’t true.

 

A lot may happen, economy may shake, bonds may break, but still, America has made her choice. She must prove her point now.

The truth is, America has to harder to stay on top. I only pray for peace. Maybe things might be much better. Lets not judge

Miracles do happen, not only in Kenya, but also in American politics.img-20161109-wa0009

 

Campus culture

It hurts so much to lose all you’ve worked for in a twinkle of an eye. When your dream comes crushing down and the mansions you’ve spent years building in your mind come down before materializing.

Some of the loopholes that campus students leave in their lives include:

  • Choosing the wrong friends who lead you the wrong direction
  • Misusing the freedom of not being monitored to miss lectures and exams
  • Lying to your parents/sponsors and hence coning them of money
  • Engaging in relationship conflicts which may lead to crimes of passion
  • Leading a free-style life with no respect for self and for others
  • Being involved in criminal activities to get money
  • Living beyond your limits
  • Abusing drugs
  • Using harmful cosmetics and other health endangering products
  • Joining cults and other bodies that promote evil practices
  • Following the crowd and not sticking to your principles
  • Engaging in careless sexual escapades because of peer pressure, to earn STD s (Sexually Transmitted Degrees), and for money
  • Arbortions
  • Engaging in strikes and demonstrations irresponsibly

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University students carrying an injured student during a strike

Campus culture in the current generation is full of moral decay and unimaginable filth. The creme de la creme of the society has become so useless and worthless that unless someone goes an extra mile to factor in God in his/her studies, education becomes meaningless.Students graduate with:

  • HIV/AIDS and other deadly STIs
  • Unplanned/Unwanted Pregnancies
  • gynecological problems and barrenness due to abortions
  • Skin problems due to cosmetics
  • Some go to campus walking and come back home in coffin

 

 

 

From grace to grass

I never knew it hurts, for I never wore those shoes

Every time I came best, I could smile and walk away

I never cared to know, How the last person ever felt

All I cared about, were the presents and praises

 

This time it was doom, with gloom and feeling blue

I hid the form without looking, just looking to see no one’s looking

I walked away with my head down, My steps landing with a weight so strange and grave

If only I had smiled at them before, they could have cared to know how I feel

 

Bread crumbs

They said,

That pain and pleasure never meet,

Because they never lived in the ghettoh

Where pain and pleasure are twins

Where your moments of joy dictate your extent of poverty

 

The morning dew washed my face

For water’s less and time so scarce

My stomach groans and back aches

Lazy bones they say it is

But hunger and pain I know it really is

 

Slow but sure I squeeze my way

Not minding the scratches and cuts I earn

From the rusty Iron sheets of our neighbour’s door

The boy next door is my friend of age

But today he’s nowhere to be seen

 

His brother came the other night

With a massive loaf for them to feast

And new clothes so rare to find

So today’s no day for friends

Who’ve got nothing new to show

 

I hide behind the plastic barrel

Not to spoil the golden chance

Or earn a slap like I did last night

Then kneel down to lick the spilt juice

And collect the fallen crumbs of bread