With the last drop of my blood

So dark and dull was it that day

All I felt was pain and pain

“Not a single word should you say,

Or I’ll make you pay with pain”

 

Friends and foes to me were same

From that day that changed the game

And left a wound of guilt and blame

No pride of self but only shame

 

I winced in pain and bit my lips

And sighed with defeat as I let go

So ruthless with my tits and hips

For all he wanted was to finish and go

 

I woke up in a mess of blood

My head throbbing and my vision blurred

With my blood I noted down on a writing pad

“I will hate men with the last drop of my blood”

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Forgive me mum,

Dear mum,

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I hope this letter finds you in good shape. It is long since we last had a heart to heart talk, and I really miss your voice. Not your normal voice, but that special one that comes from within. The one that no other mum can emulate. The one that only you and I understand.

I have a lot to share with you. I feel too shy to face you with these, so please take time and read between the lines. It may make you hate me, but please remember I really love you. Remember you are the greatest mum in the world. I have made mistakes in life that I live regretting. If only I could change the hands of time, I would become a better daughter. You deserve better.

First, I’d like to thank you for loving me. You loved even when I was still in your womb. Despite the hurdles you had to overcome for my sake, you still kept me safe. You bore pain, shame, humiliation and agony because of me. You were young, beautiful and respected, but with me, went away your pride and dignity. Still, you were always there for me. Through thick and thin, you saw me grow.

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the greatest mum in the world

You nurtured and taught me the ways of the Lord. You made me the woman I am today. I am forever grateful for your love mum.

Please forgive me for my insensitivity. I never appreciated your efforts. I always thought that you weren’t good enough. Because you could not afford to buy me expensive toys, new clothes and good books. I forgot to see that I had a roof over me and food on the table.

Please forgive me for lying against you. I even lied that you were sick or that you lost your job to gain pity from my friends and fetch money from them. I have never forgiven myself for being so mean and insensitive.

I don’t have the right number of words to say just how sorry I am. I have shed all the tears I have till my eyes are puffy and swollen. I have sneezed and now my nose is itching. I know how shameful it is admit this, but it is the only way to set myself free.

You tried your best to bring me up in the right way, that I may not make the same mistakes you made. In my arrogance and disobedience, I messed myself and my future. I have done abominable things before men and before God. I have disgraced you among women. I have lost my dignity and stature. I feel so empty and useless. I feel there is no more hope left. I am slowly but surely wasting away.

I need your blessings. I still need you to guide me even in my adult life. I now see how tough it is in the outside world. I thought you were just being lazy and having debts. I now know what it means to really be a grown up. I may not fully know all you’ve gone through this far, but whatever it is, I know it must have been painful. And I know you endured all this because of me.

I can not erase the past, but we can influence the future together. Lets just put God first, then all the rest will follow. Please be strong. Have another reason to live. Please forgive me. I am determined to make it all right before it is too late, just give me another chance. I love you so much mum.

Yours faithfully

Prodigal daughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Private thoughts

What comes to your mind at the mention of the word “Privacy “?. It makes me think of all the intimate things between me, myself and I. It makes me think of my diary and my mobile phone while those with fat pockets think of their private jets and private homes. I have never had a bedroom for myself, except for some semesters in campus when I was fortunate enough not to have a roommate. So I honestly cant tell whether its lonely or not to have a private life.

I love my private moments with God, and those private meditations time and again.

The most private thing in a man is the heart, the soul, the mind….. call it what you want. Have you ever thought of how it would feel if everyone could read every other person’s mind and know their true feelings? Those that they are too shy or too afraid or too cautious or maybe too proud to speak…

Would it be scary, interesting, boring, distracting or just normal? I think it would be the most HORRIBLE thing ever!

I wouldn’t appreciate to know that my best friend is lying to me, or to know how much someone hates or likes me, or maybe to know who plans what, when, why, and how.

I really would not appreciate that, maybe because I personally treasure my privacy, or because I fear to discover how people truly feel towards me.

America’s newborn

9/11/2016

America has made her decision.

She has sent the radical donald trump to the white house.

Russia celebrates, Mexico weeps, and Kenya wails.

But nothing can be done now.

Hillary Clinton is great, but she has lost.

Whether it’s because of her policies, or because of her leadership skills, or because she is a woman, only Americans can tell.

Maybe its because Trump simply moved the crowd more than she did, which you know isn’t true.

 

A lot may happen, economy may shake, bonds may break, but still, America has made her choice. She must prove her point now.

The truth is, America has to harder to stay on top. I only pray for peace. Maybe things might be much better. Lets not judge

Miracles do happen, not only in Kenya, but also in American politics.img-20161109-wa0009

 

Campus culture

It hurts so much to lose all you’ve worked for in a twinkle of an eye. When your dream comes crushing down and the mansions you’ve spent years building in your mind come down before materializing.

Some of the loopholes that campus students leave in their lives include:

  • Choosing the wrong friends who lead you the wrong direction
  • Misusing the freedom of not being monitored to miss lectures and exams
  • Lying to your parents/sponsors and hence coning them of money
  • Engaging in relationship conflicts which may lead to crimes of passion
  • Leading a free-style life with no respect for self and for others
  • Being involved in criminal activities to get money
  • Living beyond your limits
  • Abusing drugs
  • Using harmful cosmetics and other health endangering products
  • Joining cults and other bodies that promote evil practices
  • Following the crowd and not sticking to your principles
  • Engaging in careless sexual escapades because of peer pressure, to earn STD s (Sexually Transmitted Degrees), and for money
  • Arbortions
  • Engaging in strikes and demonstrations irresponsibly

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University students carrying an injured student during a strike

Campus culture in the current generation is full of moral decay and unimaginable filth. The creme de la creme of the society has become so useless and worthless that unless someone goes an extra mile to factor in God in his/her studies, education becomes meaningless.Students graduate with:

  • HIV/AIDS and other deadly STIs
  • Unplanned/Unwanted Pregnancies
  • gynecological problems and barrenness due to abortions
  • Skin problems due to cosmetics
  • Some go to campus walking and come back home in coffin

 

 

 

I TOO CAN, CAN’T I?

Yes you can

Yes you can change the world

Yes you can move mountains and rock the world

And dive the seas and see beyond, and make it worth your while

But try you must, mustn’t you?

 

No you can’t

No you can’t change who you are

No you can’t cease to be a pauper and become a king

And bring the change you wish to see, it won’t be worth your while

Can’t you seeyou can’t?

 

But others have

Others who had dreams like me

Had no gold or silver but dreams so golden and real

With visions, motivations and aspirations all beyond lack of provision

So I too can, can’t I?

 

 

Others tried and failed

They traded their lives with freedom

Democracy they never lived to see or enjoy its fruits

You have a future and dreams; you can’t sell your youth to the people

Can’t you see it’s hard?

 

Others tried and made it

Great leaders were once ambitious youth

The great Jomo Kenyatta, Oginga Odinga, Harry Thuku, Nelson Mandela

The great Barrack Obama; name them, didn’t they all begin as youth with zeal and zest?

I too should, shouldn’t I?

 

Yes I can, yes I will

Whether stones bleed to death or oceans dry from anger

Whether banks drain from corruption and the rich click and murmur

Money and a name I may not hold, but my dreams and youthful skills shall I sell

Till you believe I surely can.

 

Letter to the big city

Dear City,

I heard you stole my friend.She left and never came back

She never said goodbye either

I just heard you lured her with some niceties

Please big city, I beg you in the name of love

Please bring her back

I know life in the village may be boring

But I miss her, others miss her too

I know you aren’t  doing her any good

Am begging you once, city, but I won’t beg again

If you don’t let go of her, I’ll come get her myself

East or West, home is the best

 

Your friendly enemy,

Village girl.

 

Give me a break!

Can’t I have peace?

Can’t I enjoy my night in one piece?

Please, give me a break!

I need freedom

I’ve grown weary of boredom

Please, give me a break!

 

Why come when am gone?

When my senses are all torn?

Did they call you sleep-talk?

All my secrets you mock

Airing for all to take

Please, sleep talk, give me a break!

 

With your brother sleep-walk

All you do is make me weak and talk

Come dawn I know not the mess

Of what you made me do or confess

Please I really need a break!

Break these chains and give me a break!

Smooth is never so smooth

All the time I’ve had to wait
All I think of far from smooth
Pain or feign too much a weight
Smooth is never this uncouth

Rocky edges all the way
But to wait I’ll never miss
Hope I nurture as I pray
Stumbling rising with all bliss.

Why so close and yet so far?
Call that smooth I’ll not agree
Cross the bridge without a scar
Smooth is smooth when you are free.

Surely tough a sail it is
Hope I wont have to miss
Rocky edges I’ve had to kiss
Stumbling falling but nothing I miss.

All the time I’ll have to wait
Bearing smoothly all the weight
My heart never to set a bait
For in pain the pleasure’s bait.

Smooth is never smooth I say
For it comes the toughest way
Pleasure without measure at bay
But all I do is wait and pray

smooth